I want to go to church, but my family refuses?

You don't need to go to church to have a spiritual relationship with god. You just set aside a time each day to have a private talk with him. You can start out by saying the lord's prayer and then tell him how much you want clean up your life and get your act together and how you want to stop being so angry. And then say, what steps can you take to get your life on track. And then you just sit back and thoughts will start to enter your mind.