Reverse Munchausen Syndrome?

Is there some type of disorder out there that you want yourself to be sick? I am constantly researching about Autism, so much that I am starting to develop some of the stereotypical hand movements and lacking in social skills. I don't make any eye contact anymore, I twiddle my fingers carelessly now, and I don't speak unless spoken to. I know I don't have it, but every day I wish more and more that I do. No, it's not because I want people to pity me, I just want it. And, over the course of the past few months, I have come to grips that I understand I don't have it, but I am aching for my children to have it. Is this just me thinking it's cool, insanity, or something else?